the hardest part of this all is that im being myself, im being honest, im being real, and he still doesnt believe any of it. i honestly dont know what to do at this point. i try and get rejected. i tell him how i feel and im trying to start an argument. everything i do is wrong. and the things he says to me. i dont love him. im a liar. im this im that. i dont think he understands how much that really hurts me especially now when im trying my hardest for him. i havent cried this much since probably november before we started again. im the bad guy but im playing the victim but theres no way for me to win. i just dont know what to do anymore. he keeps telling me to leave if im that unhappy with him and the more he tells me the more i actually consider leaving. and thats the last thing i want to do but every time he says it he pushes me more and more. and idk how much more i can take when i really am trying my hardest to be with him and have us happy but all my attempts are wrong and we end up fighting and its all my fault. but what else can i do. he doesnt believe me with like anything. it just seems as if my efforts are just a waste of time and i just dont know when enough is enough.
